In 1996, after ending a relationship with a lover that had initially claimed to be poly, it dawned on me that this was a useful word in my life. Since my poly friends and I have upon occasion gotten involved with or had near misses with folks that act like our being poly is just great, but turn out to have been lying, at least to themselves. This is not always in an attempt to secure our exclusive, enforced monogamy, but in many cases, monogamy through "conversion" to monogamy, attempting to make us forget the others we love, even getting pregnant or establishing some other moral hold over us are frequent and sometimes widely accepted means that are employed in ployamorous schemes.